It’s tough to keep saying goodbye to our friends as we live
in a transient place with contracts usually shorter than 2 years. People come
in and people go. There’s always a going away party for someone in our close
circle of friends, and it’s a pretty weird culture when we think about it. This
season is one during which the majority of our friends, and basically all of
Wyatt’s friends, are leaving or have already left Zambia forever. Sounds
dramatic, but just keepin’ it real y’all.
So when we found out that 7 Americans from the church we
attended when we lived in Columbia, SC were coming to volunteer with CiH for 3
weeks, we were excited yet hesitant.
We drew boundaries that we thought would keep us “healthy,”
like not seeing the group before or after our activities at the Chikondi
Community Center. We’d help them with errands the first day, but that was it.
We thought that by creating distance between us that we’d all be benefitted, because
what lasting benefit could really happen in these friendships that only had 3
weeks to develop?
We were wrong. Oh, so wrong. We started building walls up
against this group, brick by brick as they prepared to come. We were all about
being friends during the workday, but didn’t see the benefit of having them
invade “our time” in the evenings. Until we had them over for supper on the
very first night.
These people traveled across the world to witness another
culture and to be a part of God’s greater plan here in Zambia through Clothed
in Hope. But I think God also had the intention of us mutually encouraging each
other just as Paul talks about in the Bible. Like it’s healthy or something,
right?
When we opened our hearts just a smidge and took down a
couple of bricks just so we could see over the wall as we shared conversations
and laughs with these strangers-turned-friends, we started to see the beauty in
it all.
There was risk. We would put our hearts on the line with
people who may only be our friends for 3 weeks. We knew we would have to say
goodbye to this community of encouragers in 21 short days. It’s not like they
came to scout out moving here- they were living in America and would (most
likely) continue doing so after they returned.
But there’s beauty in risk. Sounds cliché, perhaps. But we
witnessed that and we know it to be true. What good would’ve come from us
distancing and guarding ourselves from these 7 people that God sent to us in
this season of trying to find our own friends and community here?
Those friendships, those 7 people taught us something
special- to go all in when it comes to making friends. In this transient
culture, people will surely leave again and the goodbyes are inevitable, but even
in that, the beauty exists. We get to
share in seasons together, no matter how long or short. We get to share our commonalities and grow through our differences. We
get to learn how to be friends with
folks in different walks of life from different backgrounds. We get to celebrate life with folks,
because who really knows when our last day is anyways? Why guard ourselves to
be “protected” from the inevitable goodbye when we’re really just going to miss
out on something so beautiful, so special?
We sat around the dinner table with these 7 friends for 4
nights every week. We shared what’s hard for us, we rejoiced over how we’ve
seen God at work so visibly and so powerfully. We wrestled over the confusing
things together, prayed for them as a group. We became a community for 21 days.
One that encouraged us in our marriage far more than we could do by retreating
and only reading blog posts from strangers. We were prayed over as we remain
here in Zambia. We were blessed financially by these generous friends. We got
to share our lives with people who now understand our context and can stand
beside us even though an ocean separates us. And even if we never hear from
them again, we rejoice because we know that for those 21 days, it was so, so
worth it to share life with those 7 people.
Instead of safe-guarding from future hurts, let’s become a
people who are engaged in the beauty and grace all around us, even if that
means that a little bit of pain and sadness follow. Because isn’t life is all
about ebbs and flows, seasons of joy and season of difficulty? So why not soak
up the season of joy and even find the joy in the season of difficulty?
Let’s become a people who trust God in every season, who are
willing to risk, knowing the one constant is Him who loves, who redeems, who
comforts, who gives grace upon grace.
Thank you to you 7 crazies who came 6,000 miles to hang out
with us for 21 days. You have no idea how much Jesus worked in and through each
one of you to spur us on, to encourage us, to challenge us, and to bring so
much joy to us in a season of change and goodbyes. …And if you ever wanted to
move here, we wouldn’t hate it ;)
the 7 adventurous souls from Columbia, SC |
besides being BFFs, they helped out a TON- like with our Holiday photoshoot! |
Saige modeling a lovely CiH headband |
Movie nights with pizza to pretend we were all being friends in America |
And we got real close. As in basically sitting in each others laps on a minibus to M'chochoma Village |
These fun folks even gave free haircuts- the best! |
Love,
A&W
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