"Treats" are not Sweets

This summer marks 4 years since I first stepped foot into this beautiful nation of Zambia. Due to the nature of my work with CiH (aka I was the only person here to launch and run the program until I got married and gained a partner), I feel like I’ve learned a lot. A majority of these lessons have been intentional as I ask too many questions out of a desire to really learn the ins and outs of Zambian culture and customs, but some of this has been by the trial-and-error method. Which is a nice way of saying that I have done things the completely wrong way out of my American ignorance which has given way to me learning the right way pretty quickly.

I know I’ll never understand Zambian culture and customs 100% simply because this isn’t the nation of my birth or the home to the family I was born into, but I’ll try to come as close as I can. I feel I’ve soaked up a good bit over the last 4 years, but an experience just last Tuesday affirmed the notion that I’ll really never fully know everything (shocker, right?).

But before I share that little gem with you (at my personal expense and embarrassment), here are some other lessons I’ve picked up along the way- some through asking and learning, some through failing miserably to be graciously taught the other way, usually accompanied with cackling laughter for too long until I either join in with them or awkwardly flee the scene.

Zambian culture and customs, 4 years in:

- Never give someone a gift or food or display any positive gesture with the left hand. Also don’t cook or eat with the left hand. (The left hand is used for “unclean” activities, so it basically tells others that you think that their cooking/gift/presence is equal to waste.)

- Always serve and greet a man before a woman.

- In more traditional settings (aka not the Western-style mall or restaurants), women, don’t show your knees or anything above them. Just don’t.

- Greet everyone in the room with a complete “Mulibwanji? - Hi how are you?” with an exchange of responses between you and the person before moving onto the next person, even if there are 20+ people in the room, and even if a meeting is already taking place.

- Never confuse trousers for “pants.” Pants are undergarments. Also don’t yell out at a market that you think a man’s pants are nice (since they’re trendy and red) when you should really use the word trousers (this lesson may or may not be from the trial-and-error method).

- Also don’t use the word napkin, which is really a feminine sanitary napkin. It’s called a serviette. If you ask a waitress to bring you some napkins, she will give you quite possibly the strangest look you’ve ever seen. You can also figure out if this lesson was learned through asking or trial-and-error.

- Time is flexible, and as a general rule of thumb, tell people to arrive one hour earlier than the intended start time of a meeting, class, etc. It’s not rude to be late, it’s just normal.

- Always ask before taking a photo (called a “snap”) of a person or place or event. Some religions view photography as a means of stealing a soul. (Thankfully I didn’t have to endure the trial-and-error method of learning for this one.)

And obviously there are many more, but before this drags on too long, let’s dive into Tuesdays situation.

Eddie, one of the caretakers at the Chikondi Community Center and a good friend of ours, used his two holiday days off of school to go around with Wyatt and Landon (the short-term team leader) to gather some materials and quotations for some projects we’re working on. I wanted him to know that I recognized his hard work and it wouldn’t go unrewarded for going above and beyond with such a cheerful attitude. So I asked Eddie to sit down with me on a bench outside for a little chat. I told him that very thing- that I realized his sacrifice and was so grateful for his generosity. And I told him that I would bring him some treats as a reward.

Eddie’s eyes bulged out of his face, which contorted the second those words left my mouth. Then his strange expression turned into a burst of laughter as he politely told me, “I don’t think that’s the word you meant to use.” Hope this shows you just how kind and friendly Eddie is, because that was an all-too-nice way of saying “you have no idea what you just said, crazy American.”

Because according to Eddie and the rest of Zambia, what I just told him was that I would give him some beatings as a reward. Beatings as in hitting and punching him. Which are called treats.

Whoops. Thank goodness for Eddie’s (and everyone else’s) graciousness towards me as I still continue to learn the ins and outs of Zambian culture, custom, and word usage. And don’t worry- we cleared up the confusion with awkward laughter, me apologizing 5,000 times, and promising to bring him every synonym to my understanding of the word treat- sweets, cupcakes, chocolates, Coca-Colas, snacks, biscuits, cookies- WHATEVER YOU WANT EDDIE JUST PLEASE FORGIVE ME (though he had obviously already done so because he’s one of the nicest people on earth).

Lesson learned. Experience had. Another ridiculous trial-and-error learning time for the books.

Enjoy, have a giggle at my expense, and you better hope the next time you tell someone you’re bringing the treats that he/she isn’t from Zambia.