Worth the Risk

It’s tough to keep saying goodbye to our friends as we live in a transient place with contracts usually shorter than 2 years. People come in and people go. There’s always a going away party for someone in our close circle of friends, and it’s a pretty weird culture when we think about it. This season is one during which the majority of our friends, and basically all of Wyatt’s friends, are leaving or have already left Zambia forever. Sounds dramatic, but just keepin’ it real y’all.

So when we found out that 7 Americans from the church we attended when we lived in Columbia, SC were coming to volunteer with CiH for 3 weeks, we were excited yet hesitant.

We drew boundaries that we thought would keep us “healthy,” like not seeing the group before or after our activities at the Chikondi Community Center. We’d help them with errands the first day, but that was it. We thought that by creating distance between us that we’d all be benefitted, because what lasting benefit could really happen in these friendships that only had 3 weeks to develop?

We were wrong. Oh, so wrong. We started building walls up against this group, brick by brick as they prepared to come. We were all about being friends during the workday, but didn’t see the benefit of having them invade “our time” in the evenings. Until we had them over for supper on the very first night.

These people traveled across the world to witness another culture and to be a part of God’s greater plan here in Zambia through Clothed in Hope. But I think God also had the intention of us mutually encouraging each other just as Paul talks about in the Bible. Like it’s healthy or something, right?

When we opened our hearts just a smidge and took down a couple of bricks just so we could see over the wall as we shared conversations and laughs with these strangers-turned-friends, we started to see the beauty in it all.

There was risk. We would put our hearts on the line with people who may only be our friends for 3 weeks. We knew we would have to say goodbye to this community of encouragers in 21 short days. It’s not like they came to scout out moving here- they were living in America and would (most likely) continue doing so after they returned.

But there’s beauty in risk. Sounds cliché, perhaps. But we witnessed that and we know it to be true. What good would’ve come from us distancing and guarding ourselves from these 7 people that God sent to us in this season of trying to find our own friends and community here?

Those friendships, those 7 people taught us something special- to go all in when it comes to making friends. In this transient culture, people will surely leave again and the goodbyes are inevitable, but even in that, the beauty exists. We get to share in seasons together, no matter how long or short. We get to share our commonalities and grow through our differences. We get to learn how to be friends with folks in different walks of life from different backgrounds. We get to celebrate life with folks, because who really knows when our last day is anyways? Why guard ourselves to be “protected” from the inevitable goodbye when we’re really just going to miss out on something so beautiful, so special?

We sat around the dinner table with these 7 friends for 4 nights every week. We shared what’s hard for us, we rejoiced over how we’ve seen God at work so visibly and so powerfully. We wrestled over the confusing things together, prayed for them as a group. We became a community for 21 days. One that encouraged us in our marriage far more than we could do by retreating and only reading blog posts from strangers. We were prayed over as we remain here in Zambia. We were blessed financially by these generous friends. We got to share our lives with people who now understand our context and can stand beside us even though an ocean separates us. And even if we never hear from them again, we rejoice because we know that for those 21 days, it was so, so worth it to share life with those 7 people.

Instead of safe-guarding from future hurts, let’s become a people who are engaged in the beauty and grace all around us, even if that means that a little bit of pain and sadness follow. Because isn’t life is all about ebbs and flows, seasons of joy and season of difficulty? So why not soak up the season of joy and even find the joy in the season of difficulty?

Let’s become a people who trust God in every season, who are willing to risk, knowing the one constant is Him who loves, who redeems, who comforts, who gives grace upon grace.

Thank you to you 7 crazies who came 6,000 miles to hang out with us for 21 days. You have no idea how much Jesus worked in and through each one of you to spur us on, to encourage us, to challenge us, and to bring so much joy to us in a season of change and goodbyes. …And if you ever wanted to move here, we wouldn’t hate it ;)

the 7 adventurous souls from Columbia, SC

besides being BFFs, they helped out a TON- like with our Holiday photoshoot!

Saige modeling a lovely CiH headband

Movie nights with pizza to pretend we were all being friends in America

And we got real close. As in basically sitting in each others laps on a minibus to M'chochoma Village

These fun folks even gave free haircuts- the best!

Love,

A&W

"Treats" are not Sweets

This summer marks 4 years since I first stepped foot into this beautiful nation of Zambia. Due to the nature of my work with CiH (aka I was the only person here to launch and run the program until I got married and gained a partner), I feel like I’ve learned a lot. A majority of these lessons have been intentional as I ask too many questions out of a desire to really learn the ins and outs of Zambian culture and customs, but some of this has been by the trial-and-error method. Which is a nice way of saying that I have done things the completely wrong way out of my American ignorance which has given way to me learning the right way pretty quickly.

I know I’ll never understand Zambian culture and customs 100% simply because this isn’t the nation of my birth or the home to the family I was born into, but I’ll try to come as close as I can. I feel I’ve soaked up a good bit over the last 4 years, but an experience just last Tuesday affirmed the notion that I’ll really never fully know everything (shocker, right?).

But before I share that little gem with you (at my personal expense and embarrassment), here are some other lessons I’ve picked up along the way- some through asking and learning, some through failing miserably to be graciously taught the other way, usually accompanied with cackling laughter for too long until I either join in with them or awkwardly flee the scene.

Zambian culture and customs, 4 years in:

- Never give someone a gift or food or display any positive gesture with the left hand. Also don’t cook or eat with the left hand. (The left hand is used for “unclean” activities, so it basically tells others that you think that their cooking/gift/presence is equal to waste.)

- Always serve and greet a man before a woman.

- In more traditional settings (aka not the Western-style mall or restaurants), women, don’t show your knees or anything above them. Just don’t.

- Greet everyone in the room with a complete “Mulibwanji? - Hi how are you?” with an exchange of responses between you and the person before moving onto the next person, even if there are 20+ people in the room, and even if a meeting is already taking place.

- Never confuse trousers for “pants.” Pants are undergarments. Also don’t yell out at a market that you think a man’s pants are nice (since they’re trendy and red) when you should really use the word trousers (this lesson may or may not be from the trial-and-error method).

- Also don’t use the word napkin, which is really a feminine sanitary napkin. It’s called a serviette. If you ask a waitress to bring you some napkins, she will give you quite possibly the strangest look you’ve ever seen. You can also figure out if this lesson was learned through asking or trial-and-error.

- Time is flexible, and as a general rule of thumb, tell people to arrive one hour earlier than the intended start time of a meeting, class, etc. It’s not rude to be late, it’s just normal.

- Always ask before taking a photo (called a “snap”) of a person or place or event. Some religions view photography as a means of stealing a soul. (Thankfully I didn’t have to endure the trial-and-error method of learning for this one.)

And obviously there are many more, but before this drags on too long, let’s dive into Tuesdays situation.

Eddie, one of the caretakers at the Chikondi Community Center and a good friend of ours, used his two holiday days off of school to go around with Wyatt and Landon (the short-term team leader) to gather some materials and quotations for some projects we’re working on. I wanted him to know that I recognized his hard work and it wouldn’t go unrewarded for going above and beyond with such a cheerful attitude. So I asked Eddie to sit down with me on a bench outside for a little chat. I told him that very thing- that I realized his sacrifice and was so grateful for his generosity. And I told him that I would bring him some treats as a reward.

Eddie’s eyes bulged out of his face, which contorted the second those words left my mouth. Then his strange expression turned into a burst of laughter as he politely told me, “I don’t think that’s the word you meant to use.” Hope this shows you just how kind and friendly Eddie is, because that was an all-too-nice way of saying “you have no idea what you just said, crazy American.”

Because according to Eddie and the rest of Zambia, what I just told him was that I would give him some beatings as a reward. Beatings as in hitting and punching him. Which are called treats.

Whoops. Thank goodness for Eddie’s (and everyone else’s) graciousness towards me as I still continue to learn the ins and outs of Zambian culture, custom, and word usage. And don’t worry- we cleared up the confusion with awkward laughter, me apologizing 5,000 times, and promising to bring him every synonym to my understanding of the word treat- sweets, cupcakes, chocolates, Coca-Colas, snacks, biscuits, cookies- WHATEVER YOU WANT EDDIE JUST PLEASE FORGIVE ME (though he had obviously already done so because he’s one of the nicest people on earth).

Lesson learned. Experience had. Another ridiculous trial-and-error learning time for the books.

Enjoy, have a giggle at my expense, and you better hope the next time you tell someone you’re bringing the treats that he/she isn’t from Zambia.

Mulibwanji, Visitors!

We're a bit MIA from emails, social media, even updates on here, but for a good reason...

This past Friday we picked up a team of 7 from our home church, Midtown, in Columbia, SC (where we met and fell in love, ooh la la). Even though it's been a 4-day holiday weekend here, we hit the ground running with their activities during their 3-week stay.

Let me just tell y'all- these folks are great. Friendly, flexible, positive, encouraging. Even though those things are awesome, the best thing so far has been their hearts to serve here.

They aren't here for an experience or a check off of a bucket list. They are here to come alongside what Wyatt and I are doing with Clothed in Hope, and to be an asset to our organization in the long run. Sure short-term trips are tricky, but if I could point to a model of what it should look like, I'd point to these people.

They are here to learn. They are here to uplift and add value. They recognize how we're pretty busy every day, and they choose to sacrifice their own rest time to wash our dishes, pray over our work and our marriage, and even just provide friendship through which we can chat about life and silly things.

We are thrilled that these people are here, that God hand-selected this particular group to come in this season. It's so obvious that He has poured out His grace in ways we didn't even know we needed.

...And don't tell, but we're probably going to cancel their flights home since they're just too great to send back to America ;)

Here's a photo of their first full day in Zambia:

We'd love for y'all to join us in praying for them: for the health of each person, for Jesus to open their eyes to what He wants to teach them in this place, and that they would remain encouraged no matter what happens the next few weeks. (And maybe that some of them would want to stay here forever, a selfish prayer but hey, just being real.)

Zikomo, y'all!