4 Things We Want You to Know About Moving Back

We’re moving back to the US two weeks from tomorrow (gulp). We are grateful for those of you who have checked in and are excited for us, and we want to honestly share what this whole deal is like:

1. We aren’t moving home.

“Home” for us, ever since we’ve been married (well, 2 months into the gig), has been Zambia. We traded blenders and china for suitcases and plastic cups on our wedding registry, and built our lives and our marriage in Zambia. Though we’ve traveled back and forth a good bit for fundraising and visits, our home has been here. We know where to grocery shop, how to find the best tomatoes, that we’ll never really get 90% of our mail, the best hospitals/doctors to visit after the fever’s lasted too long, where to find friends (the Deli & church), and places to retreat to after a long day. This is our familiar. Zambia has been our home since January 2014. That may not be a long time to some, but like I said, as a married couple it’s all we’ve known. And for me (Amy) it’s all I’ve known since July 2012. So though we’re moving back to our “home” country, it hasn’t been our home for quite some time, and that’s a hard thing to communicate.

2. It’s not easy.

We made the decision to move back to America for the next couple of years for the best of CiH and our personal lives, but that doesn’t mean it’s all rainbows and ponies. It’s really hard. Words will fall extremely short with this one. Though we’re grateful for y’alls excitement for us, know that it isn’t easy. And we’re really sad to be leaving our home, our friends who have become our family, and our lives here. We would appreciate your sensitivity to this reality, regardless if it makes sense. Sure some days we’ll tell you we’re super excited about Chickfila and “comforts” but the truth is that this is a grieving process, and sometimes we just share the answer we think you want to hear because the correction and honesty hurts a little too much.

3. We don’t have too much to say.

While we’re walking in the thick of a major life transition, dealing with many traumas endured over the last year (or four years), we don’t have many profound things to say. While we’re in the trenches, it’s hard to see the big picture and blog about profound life lessons (not that we did too much before, but you know what I mean). It’s hard to capture emotions in photographs to share with friends and family when we don’t fully understand our own emotions, and when we want to be honest with where we’re at. While the people-pleasing part of me wants to say that I’m sorry for our silence and I’m sorry that it’ll most likely continue, the real part of me really says thank you for giving us our space and our silence. Thank you for praying the words we don’t even know to ask you to pray.

4. We have hope.

All this sounds pretty negative and sad, and as we near our departure date, a lot of days are really sad. But we know that the night doesn’t last forever, that God has a plan. One far greater than I can imagine. One more beautiful than my mind can conceive. Right now in the pits of it, it looks scary and big and daunting. But we have hope. I will hold onto this hope I profess, for He who promised is faithful. He was faithful years ago when He first wrote this verse on my soul, and I KNOW He continues to be, even when my eyes can only see inches in front of me, the scary and sad parts. Thank you to those of you who have been speaking this truth on repeat, who have been walking with us in the ick, and who keep pointing us back to hope. That it will get better. And we know it will. Maybe you’re in a scary place too, a place of hurt, and while I don’t have the answer of the “why” or the “when,” I do believe wholeheartedly that there is a purpose. There is goodness. There is grace. And it. will. get. better. Walk with us today and know you’re not alone in the trenches.

And finally, we want y’all to know that we are thankful for you. For your support throughout this adventure and the one up ahead. God is the same in Zambia as He is in America and we are just as expectant that He is going to reveal His glory and perform miracles through His people. While the current season is pretty heavy and pretty sad, we know that goodness lies ahead, because He is with us and before us. Thank you for praying for us, for encouraging us, and for following us through this next chapter of the Bardi Party.  

We love y’all.

(Wyatt didn't see this tidbit before I published this post, because I wanted it to be a surprise. Though he'll be really humble and probably not admit it, he has been my rock. On our wedding day this was just a pose to make a pretty picture, but now it is real, it is raw, it is beautiful. God's great grace through this man. The love of Jesus shown through a man who does the dishes and the laundry without prompting on the days that I struggle to get moving. A man who listens, who comforts, who lets me process alone, who doesn't quite get a lot of the emotions that I can't express, but who is holding me every step of the way. Thank you Jesus for this man, for my groom.)

Love,

A&W

Updates + The Final Countdown

A lot has happened over the past 2-3 months that we’ve been in Zambia. And I don’t say that in some sort of busy-glorifying way, but rather just a fact. Blogging has taken back seat to other important life issues in this season, and I kinda think that’s okay. But right now we’d love to update y’all on what’s been going on just so you know we’re still alive and kickin.

First off, we are moving back to America on April 13. Now that there’s a date and a booked plane ticket, things are getting pretty real. That’s probably the #1 reason that I haven’t blogged lately. My mind has struggled to keep up with my own life changes I’m experiencing that I struggle to find words to express them and share with you all. So the huge life lessons and testimonials will have to wait for another blog post ;)

How do we feel about it? Probably every emotion possible. Let me just say, it’s not easy y’all. Not even close. So pray for us, and we would be really grateful.

Sometimes I feel like Harvest, sometimes Martha. And sometimes I go from Harvest to Martha within seconds.
Just keepin' it real, folks. 

Now for the updates:

What’s new with CiH?

1. We officially launched the partner class with House of Moses Orphanage/Christian Alliance for Children in Zambia (CACZ) rooted in orphan prevention. See CiH’s blog for more deets on that, but just know how much it has encouraged my soul that Jesus has created this beautiful partnership, one that features the first MAN of CiH classes! 

2. The first loan cycle ended with 100% re-payment rate!! So we just began our second cycle of loans, issued to 12 ladies who are running their own sustainable businesses apart from any dependency on CiH. Teaching 30-50 year old women about profit and cost was never something I saw coming when I was at USC, but I'm so glad I listened in my classes then.

3. Illnesses come and go, but the latest is that Margret is 100% back to normal. Her babies have been sick off and on, but are currently healthy which we are grateful for. The harsh reality of sickness/death is a shocking one here that affects our program and our ladies. One woman cannot come to class on Friday because she has to clean the scene in a neighboring home where a woman died. She said it matter-of-factly, but I remind myself often that it.is.not.okay. 

4. The CiH staff ladies have officially taken over running CiH full-time from a programming standpoint! They even launched a new outreach group in a neighboring compound for women who were begging for an education, for a chance to learn. The sacrificial hearts of our staff will always amaze and inspire me. They stretch their own time and resources to make these outreach programs happen.

5. We’re busy cranking out the new fall line using a top-secret new material to combine with chitenge and some gorgeous new designs AND THE LINE IS AMAZING. Just couldn’t contain that last part, not sorry about it. 

What’s new with us?

1. Well, we’re moving back to America, so lots. We officially decided on RDU area for our new “home” city after reminding ourselves of why we’re coming back. Though we’d love to start a new adventure and be all adventurous, we feel led to lay low, to be faithful in a more “average” life and soak up the conveniences of a familiar place for us and for CiH. It’ll be a strange transition for sure, but we’re excited-scared-ready-sad-happy. When we get back we’ll be looking for a place to move into, cars to drive, a bed to sleep in, and everything else needed for life in America, so if any of y’all have leads on those or would like to help out in any way, we would love to chat!

2. Wyatt is still busy applying for jobs in the RDU area. No leads yet, but plenty of lines out there. Just waiting for that bite, and you’ll surely see an Instagram post of chocolate cake & Coke Zero when that day comes.

3. We’re still in the middle of the legal battle/process, and unfortunately that’s about all we can say about that. Just pray for it.

4. We’re trying to be present here and soak up these last special memories with the friends we’ve made here. The majority of the expat friends will not be here when we plan to move back, so we’re all trying to make the most of the time we have left together. 

Martha's not an expat, but there's a good chance she won't remember me when I'm back. So I'm soaking up all the
one-year-old snuggles and staring contests that I can for now. 

This also means that we’ve gotten to witness and volunteer with some ministries/nonprofits run by some great friends. Here are more deets about them:

            - Water282: Well, we haven’t seen this one in action because we haven't ventured out into the bush recently, but we did live with the founder and his wife, Jacob and Libby Eubanks, and know this organization is legit, and are doing things in a sustainable and beneficial way in Zambia, drilling wells rural villages and providing sanitation education.

            - Impact One Initiative: We participated in a Saturday Reading Clinic (this AM actually!), where we spent time reading to children at a community school in Ng’ombe Compound who don’t otherwise have access to such one-on-one attention. The school has 200 students with 2 teachers, and all children are living in poverty. But the Reading Clinics get them excited about reading, learning, their education and their future. This organization is doing incredible things way beyond this, growing the capacity of community schools in the Ng’ombe Compound, led by the passion and wisdom of a very dear friend of mine, Whitney.

            - Streetwise Co: Wyatt volunteered at an outreach with the rest of our church small group. Streetwise ministers to street children, homeless kids who hustle the streets and sleep in sewer pipes, abandoned cars, storefront stoops, etc. Wyatt helped in serving the kids a hot meal, not for trendy meal serving, but as a gateway to bring in these tough kids/guys to build relationships with them, to let them know that Streetwise is a safe place to learn, to be loved, and to experience Jesus. This people group is incredible under-served and one that wrecks our hearts daily. Streetwise Co. ultimately wants to disciple street kids (guys) by engaging in skills-training in carpentry for them to learn to make a living, to get off the street, and to walk away from addiction and destructive living. Wyatt invited a guy who he met there, J, to come to our church the following Sunday, and he came! He wasn't on drugs, he was eager to know more about Jesus, and said his favorite part of service was worshipping God. How incredible. Pray for J and the redemption and healing happening in his soul. 

            - The Esther School: Based outside Lusaka, about an hour’s drive, these folks are providing high-quality education to village children. The great friends we know there are Americans, but each American teacher has a Zambian co-teacher to encourage community sustainability and to raise up local leadership. Their school buildings, playgrounds, and on-site housing are all built by local craftsmen, providing even more opportunities for the community and building beneficial relationships with them. This ministry is incredible, and the people are amazing. We visited on Valentine’s Day, when we got the grand tour and got to see what we’ve been hearing so much about. The way they run their organization with a local focus is right on point, and really refreshing to see done so well.

These are just a few of the organizations who are doing incredible, sustainable, beneficial work here, but check these out first. We know the founders (aka some of our best friends), we’ve seen their work in action, and we truly respect and believe in how they manage their finances, how they work within communities, how they run their organizations with transparency and integrity, and how bold their hearts are for serving where they’ve been called, no matter how big or small the organization is.

What’s new with Zambia?

1. Rainy season has almost ended, which we thought would bring in cold season just a bit, but it’s staying pretty hot here! I know some of y’all have had your fair share of cold weather, but if you wouldn’t mind sending just an arctic blast this way, we wouldn’t hate it.

2. Lusaka (our hometown) is currently facing fuel shortages, or something of the sort. We hear 50 different stories about the cause or the reality of the “shortage” but here’s what we know to be true: We have to drive around and ask all of our friends if they’ve seen gas at any filling stations, because most are out 99% of the day. And when the petrol truck does come, we race over only to wait in a line for an hour. Some friends have waited 2-3 hours. We don’t know why, really, or when it’ll be over, but it’s pretty bonkers. As if Lusaka city life wasn’t exciting enough ;)

3. Even with the fuel shortages and hot weather and daily challenges, Zambia and its people continue to amaze and inspire us. I think I fall more in love with this country every day (well, most days), and it seems especially so the closer we come to leaving. But it’s not goodbye, it’s see you later!

p.s. I’m obsessed with this photo/lady. Come on… how incredibly stunning and lovely is she?! Her name is Rosemary, and you may just find this photo hanging in my next home.

p.s. again: We’re actually loving eating nshima, probably because we know it won’t be widely accessible in the States, and because it won’t be made by some of our favorite ladies on the face of the earth. And it may cause some digestion issues now, but it’s worth the memories to last us for later.

Wyatt with Joshua & George, Tresa's sons

Amy with Yvonne, a recent graduate of CiH & one fun lady

Love,
A&W