This day, New Years Eve, is marked by a time of reflection.
A time to flip back through a year’s worth of photos and memories captured on
social media. Smiles, beautiful scenery from travels, good food, great friends,
new experiences. These are all great things, things to be celebrated.
But what my social media recaps don’t capture are the hard
times. The photos I didn’t take in the times that I didn’t sense were
noteworthy. The boring times, the difficult times, the confusing times, these
photos are all left untaken. But these memories aren’t ones to be forgotten as
I reminisce over this past year in preparation for the next.
Because the hard times are just as noteworthy as
the great ones. If it’s a battle I’ve overcome, a fear that’s been conquered, a
storm that has passed, it calls for a celebration. If it’s a struggle I’m still
finding myself too deep in, that’s also a call for a celebration. Because no
matter the memory, the circumstance, the challenge, the storm, God is faithful
and worthy of celebration.
He has been faithful. He is faithful. He will be faithful.
I can celebrate because of who He is. This doesn’t call for
a minimizing of problems or an ignorance of them. Rather it creates the space
to find joy no matter what.
2014 was a doozie for me and for our little family of 2.
Sure, the photos we’ve posted have been of travels throughout Zambia, to South
Africa. Of time spent with dear friends and amazing family. Of new experiences
making a foreign country our home. Of an incredible ministry that we get to be
a part of. Of those “beneficiaries” turned best friends. Of new cooking wins
and hilarious cooking fails. Of 2 smiling Bardis at the end of a day that
wasn’t so bad. Of our first wedding anniversary. And we do celebrate all these
things.
But the photos you haven’t seen are of the moments in
between, the real life that all of us experience but fail to document because
we don’t want to remember them, or because we are unaware at just how
significant this single event is in the larger context of our lives.
These photos would be of the times we’re too sick to get out
of bed. Or when we’re just well enough to wander into a Zambian hospital. Or
the tears that are shed over burnt cabbage as we endure a financially tough
season. Or the faces of frustration from two newlyweds who just can’t seem to
figure each other out. Or the time money was stolen from us. Or the average
days of answering emails and working hard. Or the disagreements between the
folks we work with in a context so unfamiliar to our Western problem-solving
ways. Or fake checkpoints in the road to try to stop us and hassle us. Or car
trouble. Or the countless hours of travel between houses and home countries and
fundraising trips.
But these are the moments best lived. The moments that test
our endurance, our patience, our strength, our confidence. The moments that
throw our greatest fears in our faces to see where we run and how we react. The
moments of day-to-day routine that make up a year of life. These are the moments
worth capturing.
These are the moments to not be ashamed of or feel isolated
within, but to wear proudly and exclaim boldly as you have overcome them. Our
hardships turned victories are testimonies of how God’s redemption, grace,
mercy, and faithfulness through Jesus are always going shine brighter than the
darkness. But without which, the testimony of His relentless love would not be
fully understood.
So today as I prepare for 2015, a year full of unknown and
sure adventure, I will choose to celebrate through the hard parts of 2014. I
can celebrate because here, on the other side of 2014, things may not be much
easier but my soul is more steadfast, rooted in the unwavering truth of Jesus.
The Lord has been with me every step through every storm. He has never left me.
He has never given up on me. He has never forgotten me. Though I can and do
celebrate the joys and graces of 2014, I can and do celebrate in the midst of
the tough stuff, the things that refined my faith, strengthened our marriage,
and made my life into a testimony of a God who saves, redeems, restores, heals
and loves far beyond anything I deserve.
My prayer for 2015 is simply that I would in turn be
faithful to what God has called me to. That I would respond deeply and fully to
what I have experienced this year, never forgetting the incredible faithfulness
of Jesus in every ounce of my life, every bit of my struggle.
Even as I type this, Wyatt and I find ourselves in the
middle of a season of homelessness due to some unforeseen problems with our
(future/ex) house in Zambia (leaving out a bajillion details of course). Though
we don’t have an address or house to our name, we are not without a home. We
are not without a roof over our heads thanks to the generosity of family and
friends. We are okay. Not just okay, we are happy. Because after a year of
refining, we find that our joy and our peace don’t have to come from our
“blessings” or successes. They come from Jesus alone. And that’s something to
be happy about.
Happy & Homeless, Wishing you and your family a happy
New Year,
Amy & Wyatt
